From time to time in our Sunday messages at Cobblestone Community Church, we'll feature a Top Ten list. This one was featured during our 2008 teaching series from Acts, Dangerous Church. The Top 10 Signs You’re In a Dangerous Church:
10. A pastor meets you in the parking lot and asks, “You got any snakes in that car?”
9. Greeters smile, hand you a program, and then frisk you.
8. Everyone but you is wearing a hard hat.
7. The worship pastor announces, “Everyone clap your hands and sing—or else!”
6. Nursery volunteers all “pack heat.”
5. The youth pastor wears long-sleeve shirts to hide his “prison tats.”
4. Prayer stations have been replaced with First Aid stations.
3. Ushers all wear flak jackets.
2. Every few minutes during worship, someone shouts “Incoming!” and everyone drops to the floor.
And, the number one sign you’re in a dangerous church:
1. Voice heard coming from a staff meeting: “Say hello to my little friend!”