Top Ten Things You DON'T Want to Hear When Your Pastor Visits You in the Hospital

This week's top ten list features ten things you DO NOT want to hear when your pastor visits you in the hospital:

10. Evil spirit, COME OUT!!
9. Am I too late?
8. Honestly, you make that oxygen mask look great!
7. I'd stay longer, but I have a funeral sermon to write.
6. What happens if I unplug THIS?
5. The board was praying for you last night. They voted 5 to 3 for your recovery.
4. Is this a good time to take your picture for the church directory?
3. You ARE gonna be at church on Sunday, right?
2. Good news! The board just ordered your memorial plaque!

And the number one thing you DO NOT want to hear when your pastor visits you in the hospital:

1. Rats. Why does everyone get to see Jesus before me?