The Beauty of Broken Things
Anyone who knows me (or reads this blog) knows that last year was a very difficult year of ministry for me. It felt at times like I couldn’t possibly get more discouraged and broken....only to find out I could.
But God never deserted me, though I must often have gotten on his last nerve. I am asking and believing that he has brought me through that dark valley...but not without scars. I’m working on recovering the ability to trust again...and recapturing energy and enthusiasm and joy in his service...and more.
One thing I think he has taught me through it all, though I would have told you I knew it before, is the beauty of broken things. I think I’ve always been in touch with my own brokenness, and would probably always have talked freely about the value of being broken.
But I know it in new ways now. I have been broken. I am still broken. And I know my coworkers in the Gospel have been broken, too. But there is a beauty in that. There is a definite beauty in things that are not quite symmetrical, not even, not perfect, not all “put together” and “buttoned down.”
I met some folks recently that seemed a stark contrast to me and my ministry. They seemed to have it “all together.” But there seemed also to be something missing. And I think part of it at least was this beauty of brokenness. They--like me--will be better as they are broken and melted and poured out in the Master’s hands, to be used in such a way that all the glory goes to God (2 Corinthians 4:7).
So it is and so it will be with me. It is a mystery. But there is a beauty in broken things and, God helping me, I will trust God to break me...and use me, according to his will. I wish the breaking could be all done, but I suspect not.
My all is in the master’s hands
For him to bless and break;
Beyond the brook his winepress stands
And thence my way I take,
Resolved the whole of love's demands
To give, for his dear sake (General Albert Orsborn).